Kitchen Tables
I have a theory about kitchen tables. Kitchen tables are the center of family teaching moments. This is where kids learn to express an opinion in an appropriate manner, and where they learn to listen to other opinions. This is where families learn to debate, arguing a point while following rules. The kitchen table is often the first place kids observe parents following those rules: no name-calling, respecting one another’s opinions, listening as much as speaking. Or not. If the kitchen table happens to be the family battleground, then all bets are off. But a well-functioning family uses the kitchen table for a lot of things beyond eating supper together. The kitchen table is the center of their function.
My theory is that families that don’t sit around the kitchen table anymore are missing out on these lessons. Kids are learning their communicative skills, debate technique as well as manners, from social media. I know of families that use the kitchen table as the drop off place when they walk in the door. Purses, briefcases, school bags, and athletic shoes remain on the table until they are called into play again. The families regularly “catch something to eat” on their way from or to some activity. At home they are likely as not going to “find something in the fridge” and hop onto the bar stool and eat alone while hollering to someone in another room, or eating out of a container in front of the TV. If they are around the table, they are looking at their palm devices.
We are seeing the result of the lack of kitchen table training in communication skills. We see people who haven’t learned there is room at the table for differing opinions. People who haven’t learned to argue and debate, be a gracious loser or winner, and do it without vulgarity or name-calling. We see a lot of people who don’t deserve dessert!
Sitting down together once a day as a family, praying together, taking a breather from the outside world, provides many teachable moments that are hard to replicate in the booth at a Pizza Hut, or while eating wings in front of the TV. Creating that time to sit together at the kitchen table says to the family that it’s important to do this simple thing together. Nothin’ says lovin’ like sittin’ around a kitchen table sharing somethin’ from the oven.