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The Gardener’s New Baby
Like all new additions, her needs are simple, but constant. She requires a lot of attention. I set the hoses and wonder what I’ll do with the next hour and a half. By the time I decide, it’s time for changing and starting over.
Of course, this will only last for the first couple of weeks while she gets settled in and rooted in love. She’s already growing like a weed! Oh dear, bad metaphor choice. Raising Soddy to a mature lawn requires vigilance. The first year of her life we’ll be doting on her, watching for signs of stress, distress, or disease, and we’ll hover to protect her from pesky bully bugs. Investment of time, money, and energy will probably last a lifetime; it always does.
I might write a book for Sod. I could read it to her while I sit and rock on the porch watching the sprinklers. It would be like If You Give a Moose a Muffin: Give a gardener sod and she’ll need new sprinkler heads. If she gets new sprinkler heads, she’ll need more hoses. When she gets more hoses and rubber washers, she’ll need additional spigots, which require new water lines. No! Wait! Back up! If you give a gardener new hoses, she’ll need a mower. But she’d rather have lawn service. And, so it goes. Welcome to your new home, Soddy.