What Goes Around Comes Around
I’m thinking about this because my youngest daughter called last night. She was so excited. After a year of rebuilding following the coastal hurricanes one year ago, her home in Brunswick, Georgia, is finally in the last stages of remodeling. The painters have arrived, floors, walls, mold, collapses, have all been dealt with. Her big excitement was, “We’re going furniture shopping tonight!” This, she explained, was a first. In the 16 years of their marriage their furniture was handed down from siblings, parents, and friends, and a combination of what they each already had. Their home always looked cozy and welcoming, and they were thrilled to have all the gifted furniture to use. But, this is different. With nothing really in mind, they will select something that is their own, bought together for their home.
I remembered doing this. When we were first married we moved into campus married housing which was furnished. The only thing we brought into it was a wooden rocking chair our brother-in-law made for a wedding gift, and a brass phone stand bought with S & H Green Stamps. When we left the university and moved to New York we rented our first home, a “garden apartment.” Not sure why it was classified as a “garden apartment,” and I don’t know what that is, really, but we were so excited. It smelled new, the floor was shiny, and it was ours. Neither of us had ever lived in a “new” place. We had to buy furniture. Neither of us had a clue what good furniture entailed, and we had a meager budget. Danish Modern was in vogue. Danish Modern it was. Our second furniture installation was a crib, for our first born. We bought it at Macy’s in White Plains, a huge outing for us, and the most expensive single piece of furniture we owned.
Years pass, furniture wears out, tastes change, family size and needs change. There comes a time when furnishings are no longer selected for the taste of the home owner, but for the stylistic needs of family members. In other words, homes get furnished for the kids! Of course, at the time, one doesn’t really notice that, as families are a unit, after all. But things like rough and tumble Ethan Allen trundle beds and hutches built like locomotives take over, and game tables are more important than dining room tables.
We’re in another phase of furnishing now. A new one for us. Having left our big mountain furniture behind, we’re back to a couple rather than a family of nine. No one’s taste is considered but ours. We aren’t looking ahead to a lot of wear and tear, and not planning beyond twenty years. We realized with absolute shock that we could do whatever we want! So for the first time, instead of looking at price tags, comparing resiliency, considering the taste and usage of others, we are furnishing our new old house in used, repurposed and antique furniture! It takes getting used to, this quest of not considering other family members, but we’re getting the hang of it.
And so I’m thinking about Laura, whose various homes have been furnished “with other people’s stuff”, as she puts it, and her son and his many friends who come into the house like a hoard of locusts. Now, in a newly refinished home, son off to college, just the two of them, choosing furnishings just for them. I understand her excitement completely. It makes me smile and feel all honeymoony.