Heavy Artillery for the Gnat Line
My grandson who graduated from The Citadel tells about being attacked by gnats when the cadets were on the parade ground. (Think military haircuts.) He said they slathered on the bug repellent before parade.
Last weekend at the Battle of Charleston I smacked myself and fanned the air with my bonnet. A reenactor whom I’d met at several other events, usually attached to a Confederate artillery unit, came to talk. This day he was a Revolutionary War Loyalist, looking very dapper in his tri corn hat, yellow waistcoat and buckle shoes. The gentleman is a lot of fun, a wealth of information, and a great storyteller. When he tells stories history sizzles like bacon over an open fire.
“What are you after with that bonnet weaponry?” he asked as I fanned the air with my hat. “Oh, those are sand gnats. I didn’t think they’d be out this early, and it’s been cold, too. You know, Dear Lady, that bonnet waving won’t help. There is only one thing for them. It’s dryer sheets. You can even use cheap ones from Dollar General. You just take a dryer sheet and rub it over your hair and your face and anywhere those little buggers can bite, and then they won’t bite you.”
I must have looked incredulous when I rudely sneered, “Really?”
“Listen,” he said. “I’m Chief of Heavy Artillery. They trust me with the big guns. You can trust me.”
Well, alright then. Next time I cross that Gnat Line I’ll fight the battle with the big guns. I’ll bring in the heavy artillery. I’ll bring dryer sheets!
You can google Georgia’s Gnat Line. There’s even a map. You probably won’t need the map; you’ll know when you cross it. Consider that a travel trip. You’re welcome.